Cassidy Stobart
AP English, Period 2
Mrs. Myers
10/18/13

She wanted to leave. All of these people surrounding her, laughing with their friends, excited about receiving an A on the math test, and pumped for the upcoming break for Thanksgiving. The holiday where everyone shoved their faces with delicious food and the holiday in which everyone got to see their loved ones, significant others, and friends. However, she continued to wander through the hallways, her head down, and her heart beating slowly and painfully. She felt like a chuck of her heart had disappeared. This chunk was away at school and now, refused to speak to her. She was supposed to see him in less than a week. The day before, she had realized that she would never get the opportunity to see him again, let alone BE his again. She continued walking to her class and sat there while the teacher cracked jokes and discussed novels. But she just sat there, drowning in misery that only her best friends recognized. Her eyes were drooping; after crying her eyes out the night before, she fell asleep with tears still streaming down her face, and probably only slept about three hours maximum. She wanted this pain to end and she just wished that he was still with her, still her "significant other". Each day dragged on, she continued to try to text him, he would not respond. When he did, he kept saying they were over and it just was just not working out for him. Each night was filled with tears and disbelief that he was technically gone from her life...

Finally, it was a Sunday afternoon, about 2 weeks after the breakup. She had been talking to someone that had been her best friend for almost 6 years. However, she was afraid to commit to any kind of relationship, even a friendship, again. She knew she could trust her best friend, with all the support he was giving her during this hard time. But she felt hopeless, scared. She had an oppressive fear gripping her from ever wanting to try anything again. She noticed that heartache was way too much for her to handle. But along with this emotional terror she was experiencing, she gained a fear much greater than the fear of being emotionally hurt. Her new found fear was in physical pain. The wrenching feeling in her gut and her heart scared her and she felt like she had been punched and kicked repeatedly. She feared life and all of the pain it had brought her. She became scared of getting hurt; car crashes, heart attacks, everything seemed to scare her and made her feel like she could not go on.

She was driving to the barn where her horse was stabled. She planned on riding but she was terrified that she might get thrown off or severely injured. However, she got out of the car and walked to the barn. Her horse nickered at her and she felt the warmth of the barn surround her, the first warmth she had felt in a long time. Wapo made her laugh constantly as he tried to push his nose into her coat to find any kind of treat she had for him. She smiled as she gave him a peppermint and he crunched happily away on his success in finding a yummy treat. After brushing and tacking up her horse, she led Wapo out to the arena and slowly tightened her girth. Her stomach was filled with knots. She remembered all the times that he came to watch her ride, and he always told her how excellent of a rider she was. It made her feel confident and on top of the world. But now, his presence was gone, probably forever. It was dark, so she flipped on the arena lights and carefully got on. She slid her headphones into her ears and turned on Pandora Radio. As she started working Wapo, she noticed that she was singing along to a song that was playing. Then it hit her. The songs that were playing were making her angry and stronger. She was listening to Taylor Swift "We are never getting back together". Each song that was playing was in some way, matching her situation. They were talking about revenge, getting over those that have hurt you, and being strong. She yelled each word in lyrics, wishing he could hear the pain turning into anger. She also wished he could know she was over him and over what he put her through. As she continued to sing, she started jumping and doing everything she loved about riding. When she had finally finished, she started to realize something. Something that still affects her, even to this day. She realized that she has an immense fear of being hurt emotionally and being "left behind". But she did not fear the possibility of physical pain. She could sense the power, strength and freedom that she had while she was on her horse. She was stronger than this depressed, broken girl. As her life lesson, she remembers that every time she breaks, her horses will save her. She still experiences this same problem everyday; the emotional difficulties and stress get to her easily, and that will always be her weakness. But physically, she is strong enough to control an animal who can be unpredictable. But that's where her strength comes in: she is fearless and craves the adrenaline rush that makes her feel on top of the world.

Cassidy Stobart

Mrs. Myers

AP English

4 October 2013

Personal Statement

            A deep slumber is indubitably the greatest way to spend your night and early morning. Each and every one of us needs relaxation and calm, quality rest. However, one morning can be entirely different from the rest; this morning can change everything, your whole world, in just a matter of mere hours. One very early morning, around 5 a.m., my father rushed into my room, panting hard, his eyes were fearful and nervous. He quickly woke me and proceeded to tell me that one of my oldest horses, Rhumba, was very sick and he was not sure how much longer she was going to make it.

            Not one person on this planet ever wants to hear the news of any kind of tragedy. My instinct and impulsion caused me to jump out of bed and find the nearest possible set of sweatpants. I was hurrying; the grave tone of my father’s voice had my stomach tied up in millions of knots, knots that even a boy scout would not know how to undo. Rushing out of the house, I felt the cold frost of the  morning smack me on my bare face. I shivered despite my many warm clothes, and I sprinted down to the barn, and to Rhumba’s pasture. When I arrived, I saw her. My poor baby girl was panting heavily, and sweating excessively; the sweat was running down her body and was creating puddles beneath her. She looked stressed, pained, and it was easy to tell how difficult it was for her to breathe. She had white foam pouring out of her nostrils, which was abundant liquid coming straight from her lungs. I felt my throat tighten as I carefully made my way over to her. She flicked her ears in my direction, as despite her painful breathing, she watched me come towards her. Her whole body shook with each struggling breath. Watching her, I felt my own heart begin to beat heavily; I was standing in front of a horse that I had known all my life. I wrapped my arms around her sweat soaked neck. As I held her, every memory of her and I, and my life involving horses, came flooding back into my head. I remembered my first time ever getting on a horse, which was Rhumba, and I was only 2 years old. I recalled Rhumba’s grouchy attitude when someone tried to mess with her while she was eating; that mare loved her grain and hay and was always on her guard to defend her food. However, she always had energy, even in her old age. Rhumba may be old, but if she was in human form, she would be one of the most independent and strong willed woman I have ever come across. Each memory was golden and it frightened me to think that this very morning might be my last with her.

            I immediately asked where the vet was and my parents responded with, “He is on his way right now. Thank God. We need him more than ever”. While waiting, I leaned down next to Rhumba’s nostrils and started wiping the foam away with a paper towel. I breathed next to her, hoping to bring her a calming sense that she was going to be alright. The entire time, she watched each of us: my mom, my dad, and I. All three of us had tears in our eyes. But Rhumba was completely alert; she heard every sound and saw everything that was happening around her. At that very moment my vet arrived and rushed over to aid in whatever way he could. I saw the grave look that settled over his face; however, he told us that he was going to get a few shots. As he got them, he expressed his concern to my mother that he was not sure he could save her but he would try his very best. Taking the shots of lifesaving medication, he injected Rhumba with many different kinds. He told us to wait; we were now playing a game against time. Rhumba continued to breathe heavily, and we all discussed putting her out of her misery. Looking at Rhumba, I was sure it was not her time to leave this earth. We all waited, and just when it deemed our time to say our goodbyes, a miracle occurred. The shots Dr. Jeff had given Rhumba had started to take their effect. Slowly, the foam stopped and although her breathing was heavy, she looked much more relaxed and less scared. I stared in astonishment and my vet smiled with gratitude.

 I still remember this day as if it was yesterday. There are many jobs in the world I could chose to be. However, I have come to have a deep love for science and medicine. Going through high school, I always appreciated the opportunity to learn more about the bodies of animals and humans. With passion and devotion, I studied excessively to educate myself with knowledge to be a veterinarian. My heart grows when it comes to helping animals live a better life. I have owned horses since I was a baby and have dealt with many kinds of accidents, many of which needed a veterinarian instantly. After watching the miracle my vet was able to perform, my entire being yearns to become a vet just like him. He saved my horse’s life, and without him, she still would not be here today. As I look at my journey ahead, I can see all of the hurdles of working with animals. I understand some animals cannot be helped, and they must go for the better. On that fateful day for Rhumba, the saving grace was in my veterinarian’s hands. He acted so calm and knowledgeable. My dream, and my heart soars when I imagine it, is to perform in a career as a vet, saving the lives of animals so that they may live a longer and prosperous life. With this vision embedded within my brain, I cannot wait to begin on the road to knowledge and the power to save. My dream is to be able to accomplish the miracles and overcome what seems impossible, just as my vet saved the life of an animal so dear to me. Now I want to contribute the same back to my society.