Cassidy Stobart
AP English, Period 2
Mrs. Myers
10/18/13

She wanted to leave. All of these people surrounding her, laughing with their friends, excited about receiving an A on the math test, and pumped for the upcoming break for Thanksgiving. The holiday where everyone shoved their faces with delicious food and the holiday in which everyone got to see their loved ones, significant others, and friends. However, she continued to wander through the hallways, her head down, and her heart beating slowly and painfully. She felt like a chuck of her heart had disappeared. This chunk was away at school and now, refused to speak to her. She was supposed to see him in less than a week. The day before, she had realized that she would never get the opportunity to see him again, let alone BE his again. She continued walking to her class and sat there while the teacher cracked jokes and discussed novels. But she just sat there, drowning in misery that only her best friends recognized. Her eyes were drooping; after crying her eyes out the night before, she fell asleep with tears still streaming down her face, and probably only slept about three hours maximum. She wanted this pain to end and she just wished that he was still with her, still her "significant other". Each day dragged on, she continued to try to text him, he would not respond. When he did, he kept saying they were over and it just was just not working out for him. Each night was filled with tears and disbelief that he was technically gone from her life...

Finally, it was a Sunday afternoon, about 2 weeks after the breakup. She had been talking to someone that had been her best friend for almost 6 years. However, she was afraid to commit to any kind of relationship, even a friendship, again. She knew she could trust her best friend, with all the support he was giving her during this hard time. But she felt hopeless, scared. She had an oppressive fear gripping her from ever wanting to try anything again. She noticed that heartache was way too much for her to handle. But along with this emotional terror she was experiencing, she gained a fear much greater than the fear of being emotionally hurt. Her new found fear was in physical pain. The wrenching feeling in her gut and her heart scared her and she felt like she had been punched and kicked repeatedly. She feared life and all of the pain it had brought her. She became scared of getting hurt; car crashes, heart attacks, everything seemed to scare her and made her feel like she could not go on.

She was driving to the barn where her horse was stabled. She planned on riding but she was terrified that she might get thrown off or severely injured. However, she got out of the car and walked to the barn. Her horse nickered at her and she felt the warmth of the barn surround her, the first warmth she had felt in a long time. Wapo made her laugh constantly as he tried to push his nose into her coat to find any kind of treat she had for him. She smiled as she gave him a peppermint and he crunched happily away on his success in finding a yummy treat. After brushing and tacking up her horse, she led Wapo out to the arena and slowly tightened her girth. Her stomach was filled with knots. She remembered all the times that he came to watch her ride, and he always told her how excellent of a rider she was. It made her feel confident and on top of the world. But now, his presence was gone, probably forever. It was dark, so she flipped on the arena lights and carefully got on. She slid her headphones into her ears and turned on Pandora Radio. As she started working Wapo, she noticed that she was singing along to a song that was playing. Then it hit her. The songs that were playing were making her angry and stronger. She was listening to Taylor Swift "We are never getting back together". Each song that was playing was in some way, matching her situation. They were talking about revenge, getting over those that have hurt you, and being strong. She yelled each word in lyrics, wishing he could hear the pain turning into anger. She also wished he could know she was over him and over what he put her through. As she continued to sing, she started jumping and doing everything she loved about riding. When she had finally finished, she started to realize something. Something that still affects her, even to this day. She realized that she has an immense fear of being hurt emotionally and being "left behind". But she did not fear the possibility of physical pain. She could sense the power, strength and freedom that she had while she was on her horse. She was stronger than this depressed, broken girl. As her life lesson, she remembers that every time she breaks, her horses will save her. She still experiences this same problem everyday; the emotional difficulties and stress get to her easily, and that will always be her weakness. But physically, she is strong enough to control an animal who can be unpredictable. But that's where her strength comes in: she is fearless and craves the adrenaline rush that makes her feel on top of the world.